Code Red Flag


No New Friends

Is it possible to have friends of the opposite sex with little no sexual tension between them? I would most certainly think so. Today, this subject seems to come up more and more as the dating and relationship scene quickly evolve. It is certainly not uncommon for people to have significant others of the opposite gender and even less so for them to have a past. While a lot of current significant others grind their teeth in what seems to be insecurity, many are at a loss on what toRead More

Dear CRF, I’m Denying My Man Sex

Dear Code Red Flag, “ As I lay in bed next to this man, my man whom I have once again denied sex I begin to think. This relationship moved way too fast. For the first time in a long time I began a relationship with sex, throwing everything that I knew out the window. I attempted to get to know him but he was already hooked on my physical. Constantly rubbing and touching my body when I invite him over, totally taking me out of my comfort zone. WeRead More

Who’s Thirsty?

  That pretty young thing you see above is my cousin Cam. While visiting her dad here in New York a while back, Cam met a man. To say that he piqued her interest would be an understatement, but revealingly, her attraction to him was more about what he didn’t do than what he did. They met while she was out at one of Harlem’s liveliest nightspots, the kind of place where a dude might even try it with Michelle Obama if her eyes linger long enough. Unlike his would-beRead More

I Want Real

I am not good at dating or relationship games. Those kinds of games don’t work for me. I usually end up feeling resentful – resenting myself for not speaking my truth or resenting “him” for some real or perceived misgiving. I have read the praises of the “game.” I have heard about the many different rules of dating, relationships and love.  I have (attempted) to play those games, which is why now I am fully confident that games are not for me. Oh experience!  It is the greatest teacher yet.  With experience comes a more solid conviction about who you are, what youRead More

Give, Give, Give…What About Receiving?

Are you someone who feels like you are so quick to give and help others, but their is a lack of that when you need or desire it most? If you’re like me, you are tired of people taking your kindness for weakness. You give your all or most of yourself to someone, only to be left with little to nothing in the end. I will recall a recent situation I experienced where I felt like a total joke in the end. There was this young lady who I tookRead More