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Is it that you are doing too much in a relationship, or is it that you’re doing it for a person who will never appreciate it?

We’ve heard the old mantra about women giving out wife benefits before getting the ring. Such benefits include, cooking, cleaning, being a help mate, etc. What’s funny about that mantra is that many of the women who scream this loud are the same women who willingly share their bodies with men they aren’t married to. Or even if not, they are the same women that set high expectations on how a man should court them.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad about having standards on how you would like to be treated in a relationship, but please remember your mate will have standards as well. After all, would you really want to date a man who has no standards when it comes to the women he chooses to court?

Back to the topic at hand. It’s 2015, if you’re over the age of 30 and have never cooked for a man, bought a gift, or did anything you believe are wifely duties I ask, what makes you marriage material. Not to say that you aren’t, but how would a man know that you don’t just look good on paper?

On the other hand, if you’re the type of woman who is cooking 21 meals a week, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, keeping house, and doing the horizontal mambo every morning, noon, and night, but the men in your life haven’t appreciated then you may want to question why you continue doing it, for those type of men.

If you’re giving your 80% (I don’t believe anyone gives 100% at all times) and all you’re getting from your partner is 20%, then yes, you’re doing too much. Be careful of allowing someone to make that many withdrawals of your time, love, and energy without making any deposits. Before you know it, you’ve become that woman who swears men are all dogs and refuses to be vulnerable, refuses to be your natural, nurturing self, all because you’ve kissed too many frogs and allowed them to stay in your life for far too long.

So maybe it’s not that you’re doing too much. You just may be doing too much for the wrong one. That makes the situation a Flag On The Play.
Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag. Follow Code Red Flag on Instagram/Twitter. Like Code Red Flag on Facebook.

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