Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about sex. Yesterday, I saw one of those silly main chick versus side chick memes that suggested that main chicks are denying their mates mind blowing sex. Furthermore, the suggestion is that if a man wants to have great, mind blowing, hard to forget sex he can only do that with a woman who is not his woman. You see, many fellas commented that even if the side chick gets upgraded (for lack of a better term because we all know being with a cheater is not a good look) to main chick she then will start refusing to do the freaky things she once did when she played the bench. Ladies, who is ready to call bullsh*t with me?

BULLSH*T!

There I said it. If you’re not being satisfied by your mate then you are to blame! Yes, you. This goes for men and women. First of all, you chose them! You may be saying, but Dena, I waited until I got married to have sex, or I used the 90-day rule, or whatever the case may be as to why you didn’t realize you would not be pleased until after it was already too late, you’re invested in the relationship. Yet, you remained in a stale, mediocre, sex lacking relationship and now you dare want to complain or even worse cheat. That’s not how it works hon.

If you’re unhappy with your sex life it’s time to do something about it! If you’re a person of good moral character, cheating will not be an option. Instead, try opening your mouth (not for that, get your mind out the gutter…but wait, keep it there) and ASK for what you want. You want to be spanked, ask for it! You want to role play, suggest it! You want a threesome, ooh, throw some hints out you never know!

Sexual compatibility is important. I will not deny that. However, you may never know exactly how sexually compatible you and your mate are if you refuse to be a little vulnerable and share your wants and desires with him or her. So go ahead, tell your mate, I want you to make me cum! And give them instructions on how to get the job done! You can thank me now.
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Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag and Author of the Amazon Best Seller, Flag On the Play: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right in a World Full of Mr. Right Nows. Available in paperback and on Kindle.