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In 2016, a year when we have a woman vying to be the next President of the United States, it is surprising to see how many women are stuck with the old mindset that a woman should never initiate or approach a man. Ladies, please, for the good of mankind, let go that antiquated belief. If you come across a guy you like it’s ok to approach him, spark up a conversation, flirt, and give yours or ask for his number.

Approaching a man doesn’t mean that you are desperate. It means you are confident. That you understand that you rock and would be good company. It also means that you are not afraid to live your life to the fullest extent. It means you are open to dating. It means you are open to love. None of that means desperate. Sitting at home waiting for Jesus to send you a good man, that may be a little crazy if not desperate. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. So get off your knees and stop praying for a good man. Go out and get you one!

Women who approach men are the type of women who aren’t afraid of rejection. They understand that rejection is a part of life. They also know that you can’t get to yes (or I do) if you’re too afraid to be rejected. So they go after what they want without fear.

Approaching a man you have interest in is not asking for his hand in marriage. Whether or not the approach leads to a relationship feel good knowing that you had the guts to approach him and that you can always approach another if one doesn’t work out to your liking. You have your standards, approach men who you think may be able to meet or exceed them. What do you have to lose? You may gain a new friend or a new man. Is that not worth the risk?

One guy told me that his wife initiated their conversation. Notice the word wife. So, will you get out of your own way and go after what you desire?
Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag and Amazon bestselling author of Flag On The Play. Ms. Reid is also a legally trained Conflict Mediator/Coach who specializes in family and domestic disputes. Ms. Reid writes an advice column, hosts events, facilitates workshops, and speaks nationwide on a variety of topics. For more information email

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