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I miss the days when we took time to get to know one another before we jumped head first into sex, situationships, and relationships.

Remember when you would meet someone within your network of friends/acquaintances and everyone would hang out together, no pressure? Just being yourself because there were no expectations. Well times have changed; we are now in a popcorn society. Everyone wants what they want now; but when asked, nobody seems to really know what it is they actually want or need.

People are no longer building friendships as a foundation for more intimate relationships. Instead, they are rushing to take the first pretty/hot young thing off the market. It goes a little something like this:

– You meet a guy/girl while out and about
– You exchange numbers
– The phone call happens immediately after the exchange (you know, to make sure you have the “right number”)
– You have a superficial conversation where you get to know the person’s representative
– You go out on a date with that representative
– Next thing you know, you’re devoting all of you spare time to each other, but you still have no idea who this person is

What’s the rush? Has technology ruined the way we get to know one another? With instant messaging, social media, cellphones connected to the hip, etc., have we, as a society, given up on all things old fashioned? The all night phone calls ending with “you hang up,” “no you hang up first,” seems to be a thing of the past. This used to be one of my favorite ancient dating rituals.

It seems all the rushing has turned us not only into a popcorn society, but lazy daters as well. So much so, that the best players and playettes know exactly which moves to pull to get us drawn in. And since we don’t take the time to get to know their character, we end up getting sucked in to dead end, toxic relationships. Rinse, spin, repeat.

I challenge you to slow down and break the cycle. Have some friendly game nights and invite some girl and guy friends over for a potluck. Let relationships build organically. If the person who catches your eye is meant to be the one to cherish your heart it will happen in due time.

Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown. ~Soren Kierkegaard

Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag. Be sure to LIKE Code Red Flag on Facebook and FOLLOW on Instagram and Twitter.

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