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You’ve been single for too long!

Is there such a thing as being single for too long? Today, I shared a meme which had the position that people who are single for too long are the hardest to love. The reasoning behind the meme was that these people, because they’ve had no one else to consider when making life decisions, are often too set in their ways to compromise. And as we all should know, compromise is key to having a successful and long lasting relationship.

However, I’m not sure I fully agree with the meme. While intimate relationships require compromise so do other relationships. We compromise with our friends, family, even with our coworkers on a regular basis. The art of compromise isn’t lost just because someone is single just as it isn’t necessarily present in all intimate relationships. Wouldn’t someone who has been single for 2 years but open to compromise make a better mate than someone who is a serial monogamous but never willing to compromise? I would think so.

So often, single men and women are looked upon as if something must be wrong with them. But sometimes people are single because they have found their peace and happiness from within. They’d rather be single than to share their world with someone who would make them miserable. It’s been long said that misery loves company could it be that peace loves its alone time?

Another point, who determines what is too long for someone to be single? Shouldn’t that be a personal decision for the man or woman who decides to take some time off from the dating world? We never know what the reason could be and it’s really none of our business. Instead of asking a potential mate why they are single ask yourself what value you can add to his or her life that would make them better with you than without you. Not everyone dates for entertainment, some people would rather be single than be in a bad or mediocre relationship which doesn’t add value to their life. Can you blame them?

In my opinion, there is no such thing as being single for too long. Such a message only serves to single shame and force people to either enter or remain in unhealthy relationships. So don’t ask why are you single ask are you happy. Because at the end of the day the length of your singleness or relationship doesn’t matter if you aren’t happy with where you are in life or who you are there with.

Until next time… Happy living lovers and friends.
Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag and Amazon bestselling author of Flag On The Play. Ms. Reid is also a legally trained Conflict Mediator/Coach who specializes in family and domestic disputes. Ms. Reid writes an advice column, hosts events, facilitates workshops, and speaks nationwide on a variety of topics. For more information email

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