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Today’s battle of the sexes stems mostly from buyer’s remorse. 

Fellas, you see a pretty girl online. Her profile pic is tight, the other pics on her profile are too. She seems to be popping in that Facebook group you two are in. Relationship status: single. So you hop in her DM, say something funny. She responds and doesn’t leave you on “read” and you ask her out. She agrees and you both decide to meet her at Top Golf or some other popular spot for singles. She totally seems to be super attentive and she’s fine as hell, so you really don’t notice how dull the conversation is. Now you have a case of buyer’s remorse.

Then you go to dinner at an expensive restaurant where you planned to splurge to impress her. Conversation is mostly silent except while she scrolls through Instagram and talks about pop culture. She hasn’t really asked you anything about yourself or what you do and at this point you may not even be interested enough in her to ask what she does. She is sexy as hell, despite the fact that there is no connection.

The check comes and you grit your teeth after that expensive dinner and several more drinks being on the bill that you anticipated. Another date down the drain. Money you won’t ever recognize.

Buyer’s remorse sets in because those looks that attracted you weren’t enough to sustain. Men are visual creatures right? Of course we all want to be physically attracted to someone we choose to date, but there are some beautifully attractive assholes swimming in the dating pool.

So how do you save your coins and stop wasting time on dates that fall flat? 

Check the vibe because vibes never lie.

The major key- read their energy first. Check the vibe because vibes never lie. In order to do this, you have to know a few things about vibrations frequency and energy.

People only tend to talk about vibration and energy when it comes to stranger danger and avoiding obstacles, but we are supposed to use our intuition and read energy on a daily basis to choose the people that we deal with.

Second major key- you have a choice on who you are dealing with. How do you choose correctly so you’re not wasting time money and energy on dates that will never result in love or long term relationships?

Be aware of what triggers negative vibes for you. For some people it’s a stomachache, for some it’s a headache, for some it’s the hives. Be aware of how you feel around people that have  negative vibes and eliminate those people immediately. Even if they seem “nice”.

On social media? Take a moment to actually read. Scroll through their TL and NOT just their pics. You will learn a lot about a person when you actually stand still and pay attention to what is being truly presented. 

Have a phone conversation or a video chat to check the vibrations, and then check again. Before you agree to meet in person this is important. Not everyone should have access to your energy and your time. A person that does not agree to phone conversations or at least video chats does not really want to put in the effort. Saying “I’m not the phone type of person” counts here. These folks usually want a large return for the least amount of effort on their part.

Don’t ignore what you see and what you feel.

Energy is everywhere; it’s in your text conversations, those subs that you throw on your Facebook status, and in the cold shoulder responses in the DM. Don’t ignore what you see and what you feel. There is a quote that says “When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.” Trust your intuition. You can tell a lot about a person by what they post online. But also be willing to trust what you feel when you are in their presence. That feeling you can’t put your finger on? Don’t doubt it. Trust it. People dismiss negative vibes from attractive people and people who are social media popular/ famous all of the time. 

Check the vibe without the sexual tension. This requires a bit of patience. If we do this first we won’t waste our time on coffee meet ups and predates. Coffee meet ups and pre dates are time wasters and money wasters as well as you don’t need to be in a person’s presence to check their vibration. Allowing these have also shifted the tide of dating and allows people to be more non- committal and unattached in the process. They set the mindset that there are low expectations and allow you to approach dating and relationships based out of fear, negative vibes, and avoidance from the very start.

Some of you are looking at this list and groaning at the amount of effort it will seem to take before you go out on the date. Which would you rather?  Use process of elimination proactively and not waste your time and money on someone whose vibe you detected early via text or phone conversation or would you rather waste your time and money on yet another date that ends badly or that ends with someone #Blocked?

The choice is yours.
Obsessed with Love and Hallmark Movies, lattes, and red lipstick, Tamara writes from a perspective on Love, relationships, and life that incorporates Divine Feminine and Masculine ideology. A Psychic Medium who unapologetically sprinkles faery dust, Love and Light, Tamara works to dispel the myths behind what Love truly means, how to maintain healthy relationships, and to encourage women to find strength through their femininity. Originally from Baltimore, MD, Over the past twenty years, Tamara has worked in mental health and substance abuse and as a licensed clinical social worker in Atlanta and offers Psychic Readings and Intuitive Consulting for clients to help them live in their Divine purpose.

“Being a woman is one of the greatest gifts in the world. Giving Love is the other.”

~ Tamara Angela 
IG @loveandfaerymagic

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