Dear CRF, My Husband Is Ignoring Me

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Dear CRF,
“All this week my husband has been ignoring me. He doesn’t touch me none the less stay in the same room with me. He avoids being around me. I tried to talk to him and he just ignored me. I am faithful to him, but I think he is cheating. Can I get some advice on this?”

CRF RESPONSE:
Thank you for writing in to us with this delicate issue. I notice that your first inclination is that he’s cheating. Other than the issues this week has he shown any signs of cheating? I ask this because I don’t want you to assume the worst of your husband. He is human and just like you and I can have a day or week where life gets us a little low he should be allowed that time as well without being accused of stepping out on his marriage.

Whatever it is he’s dealing with I’m sure you’d like to help him, or at the very least comfort him through this period. After all, that is what a good wife does. As such, here are my recommendations to get your husband to relax and to open the lines of communication:

1) Start leaving him love/appreciation notes around the house and even in his car. Everyone loves to feel appreciated, especially when life has them a little down.

2) Clean the house. Now don’t take this as me assuming your house is messy or that you’re some type of maid. This tip is based on the feeling, or energy, in the home. Maybe it’s time to change the furniture around a little bit, change the curtains and bed sheets, etc. This helps to bring in a new vibe/energy in the house. (You may want to read up on Feng Shui and home energy cleansing.

3) Go shopping. Buy some new lingerie, some candles, some scented oils (I find lavender and chamomile to be the most relaxing) and maybe even some Bedroom Kandi. Also, make your way to grocery store and pick up his favorite foods and adult beverage.

4) Go for a spa day. You will need to have your energy right to help alter his. Get a massage, mani/pedi, a new hair do. Leave there feeling fierce.

5) Plan an impromptu house date for your husband and surprise him with it. Pull out the things you bought on shopping day. Make his favorite meal. Give him a massage. End the date by rocking his world in your new lingerie.

6) Communicate with him. Tell him how much you love him. Why you chose him to be your husband and the head of your household. Also remind him that you are there to be his helpmate, his support system.

7) Allow him time to come to you when he’s ready to talk about what’s been bothering him. Don’t pressure or nag him to. And when he does listen attentively and then ask him how you can help.

Now I know some ladies are not going to like this advice. Some will say, “she don’t have a man what does she know?” To those ladies I say, my older sister does most of this every other week for her husband. She’s been married going on 6 years. So, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Wish you the best,
Dena Reid, Esq.

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7 comments
CGRelationshipCoaching
CGRelationshipCoaching

I would like to know what you did that is causing him to react the way he is.  I'm sure there has to be a reason as to why he is ignoring you.  Did you have an argument about something prior to his silence?  Something must have provoked it, I can't imagine someone just ignoring his/her partner for no particular reason.  With that said, I believe the advise Dena provided was good because you are fostering an environment to make him comfortable so that he will open up.  Sometimes men take a little bit longer to process things and they need space in order to do so.  However, if his silence continues to persist, that may be an indication that there might be a bigger underlying issue.  So try to give him his space while creating a comfortable home and you should see his attitude start to shift.  Once you notice that those barriers have been lifted, then you can try to have a conversation with him to smooth over your differences and get everything back on track with your relationship.

FreeWorshipFreeWors
FreeWorshipFreeWors

You don't do anything until you really find out what's going on. Let's be real, not all of these marriages are ordained by God. And in all honesty, even if she did something wrong her husband has to be adult enough to communicate that to her. Silent treatment and passive agressive behavior is just as bad as withholding sex, love, and meals.

RogerUlovemePotts
RogerUlovemePotts

Great advice but it's not always Pussy that drives a man to silence

DionneJohnL
DionneJohnL

This is great advice....the hubby in this situation may not be having a physical/ sexual affair, but an emotional affair where he is sharing his feeling and frustration with someone else.....doing the above will bring him back to you and remind him why you are his partner, lover, friend and confidant. .....

TQEpps
TQEpps

Great advice Ms. Reid.

wholetemple
wholetemple

Great advice! Your sister must be an awesome wife!

Chalkl3t
Chalkl3t

CRF has given you some pretty good recommendations... Most guys aren't entirely cerebral... Perhaps doing something a bit more unconventional like purchasing him some flowers might be a the catalyst to kick start communication... Should any of the aforementioned fail, might I recommend couples counseling... Communication is EXTREMELY critical at times like these... Be courteous but assertive in pursuit... I hope everything works out for the best for the both of you!

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