Dear CRF, I’m in Love with Two Women

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Dear CRF,

“I’m in love with two women, if I hadn’t met one, I would be happy with the other.  But what do you do when you feel “It” for two women?”


You find yourself in quite a dilemma. My first suggestion would be to be honest with yourself.  Do you really love these women or are you just loving the affection and attention they are showing you.  If you can honestly answer yes you do love them both then you must respect them both enough to tell them the truth.

You see, being in love is not wrong by any stretch of the imagination. What is wrong is being deceitful. Let these ladies know how you feel. Have an adult conversation about how you managed to fall in love with both of them and then allow them to act accordingly.

They may stay or they may go. Just remember,  if you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it was meant to be. If it doesn’t it never was.

At the end of the day, honesty is the best policy. There can’t be anything with either of these women if there is no trust. I wish you the best of luck.

It’s better to bruise a heart with the truth than to break one with a lie.

~ Dena Reid, Esq. Founder of Code Red Flag

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"Loving someone" and "being in love with someone" are two totally different things... One  is justified by wise (and not necessarily logical) action while the other requires nothing more than a qualified state of consciousness... What you should've quoted is the word "feel" as opposed to "it" in order to illustrate what's consistent with your current conundrum... Just for the record, feelings are quite fickle... Though you don't exactly choose how you feel, you do have some control over the circumstances that have inevitably led you to inquire here... While situations like yours aren't uncommon, it would be in your best interest to take responsibility for your feelings in some way shape or form by exercising this control... CRF has given you pretty solid advice in my honest opinion... Needless to say, you should take heed and be forthcoming...