DEAR CRF, I DIDN’T GET AN INVITE OR A GIFT!

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Dear CRF, “Should you be upset if your significant other didn’t invite you over for Christmas dinner at his family’s home and didn’t try to until you complained about him not doing so? (BTW…we’ve been dating since April). Lets add one more thing, I didn’t get a gift either! He says he would get it when he got paid because he was in a financial bind. I’m not a materialistic person by any means, but I feel like that should have been communicated to me before Christmas Day!”

RESPONSE
No one can tell you how to feel because they are your feelings. The best thing I can do is to help you understand the root cause for those feelings. How has your relationship been for the last 8 months? Has he introduced you to those close to him or does he hide the relationship? Has he been stingy and cheap in how he courts you? I’m not in your relationship so I cannot answer these questions for you.

Now, the majority of people who saw this question on the Facebook page seem to think that his actions mean you play a secondary position in his life. I’m not going to jump to that conclusion. After all, I have only introduced 2 boyfriends, in my lifetime, to my family. Not everyone does things the same.

Instead of jumping to conclusions and getting yourself upset by what you perceive as a slight try talking to you significant other. But first, reflect on how your relationship has been going prior to this conflict and where you’re hoping it will go post conflict.

Good luck
~ Dena Reid, Esq. Founder of Code Red Flag

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3 comments
dressingdallas
dressingdallas

I think I would be pretty upset if I was her. Good advice to her though! 

AngelaHaywoodHall
AngelaHaywoodHall

One thing that women must do is to share expectations from day one, we can never assume if we do not communicate. You have to be on the same page if you are to be successful as a unit, that is just my thoughts. Men sometimes have to be guided into the right direction a lot of the time as well

muchmostdarling
muchmostdarling

If it makes you feel better, my husband didn't get me a gift either! Sometimes I really think men can be a little daft ;) 

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