WHO PAYS ON THE FIRST DATE?

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So, you’ve met a guy. It seems like it’s taken forever but you’ve finally met a guy who is attractive, charming, and isn’t a complete jerk. You guys hit it off immediately and before you know it, you’re setting up your first date. Getting ready for a first date is of course very exciting, but nerve-racking because well, as all first dates are. When planning a first date, many questions come into play like what to wear, what are we going to talk about, but I think that today one of the many questions is, should I pay my own way?

I realize that most women would find this a no brainer because they feel the guy should pay. That is old-fashioned and quite frankly it is expected. However, it can be a kind of awkward situation if he doesn’t pay. The question of whether a man should pay on the first date is kind of a one sided argument. I feel like whoever initiated the date, in most cases the guy, should pay. I am also on the fence about going into it expecting who should pay. You may wonder should you come prepared to pay for yourself, or should you expect him to pay. It is a sticky situation in the world of dating, and it can be awkward. If you are going somewhere nice and it is a legit date, then I would assume the man would pick up the tab, especially if he initiated it and made it clear he wanted to take you out. However, if you mutually agreed that you guys were going to “hang out” somewhere relaxed, then maybe you should be prepared to pay for yourself. In situations like these it is hard to determine a right or wrong answer. However like I said, whoever initiates the date should be prepared to pay.

The obvious easy solution would be to just ask, but of course no one (including myself) wants to ask that question. However, assuming could be a problem too. You don’t want to go into it assuming because then the guy may think you are only on the date for a free meal. You could attempt to pay at the end of the date, which can go one of two ways. He could tell you “don’t worry about it,” or he could let you pay. If you do that, and he lets you pay, you could potentially get upset and check out of the rest of the date. In doing so, you could possibly ruin something good with a good guy. It is difficult to know what exactly to do in this situation. I believe that every woman should go into a first date with enough money to cover her own expenses just in case. I also believe that if a man asks you out formally on a date, then he has the intention of paying for it. I do not think that any woman should go on a date just because she expects him to pay. First dates can be tricky, but being prepared for anything is part of being prepared for the date. Most times a man will not expect you to pay if he asked you out. However, it is always smart to have your own if he does not pay. Going into the date expecting the man to pay is not a good mindset to have, but keep in mind that going into something without any expectations is a good thing because you will be pleasantly surprised when your date takes care of the tab. The next first date you have, try to relax, not overthink it and carry some money just in case. Remember, no expectations, no disappointments.
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Written by Kandace Brown and originally published on The Date Whisperer




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3 comments
Chalkl3t
Chalkl3t

Well put and I agree... Your position seems fair and unbiased in my opinion... Nevertheless, if I have it, I'm paying and not because I'm expected to nor is it an issue of pride... I'll offer if she insists... I just think it's chivalrous *shrug...If I don't have it, I wouldn't schedule a date to begin with... Again if she insists, I'll request we do something cheap and inexpensive before I decline...

B_Biz_listed
B_Biz_listed

I would love too see groups of men and women going back and forth on a topic. It would broaden the context of the discussion.

DenaReidEsq
DenaReidEsq

Then you should join us on Facebook as well. www.facebook.com/coderedflag

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