WHEN IS IT OK TO CHEAT?
It never fails, when you are missing something in your relationship someone else will be more than willing to give it to you. It could be something big or small but they are there lurking ready to give it to you. It is scary how the one thing you are missing will suddenly appear from someone else. For example, if you and your mate have not been physically intimate in a while an ex or even a stranger will find their way to you and offer up their loving on a silver platter. Then what do you do? Go with it or stay faithful?
People are smart and very crafty. Our brains are so powerful. We can justify anything in our minds. We blame lack of time and money for almost every shortcoming we face. Think about it. We say we are overweight because we don’t have time for the gym or money for healthy food. There is no way we could practice self-care because we don’t have time for a break, and no money for the spa. I could go on and on but you get the point. Our brains can and will deceive us if we let it. So when this person comes along offering you what you are missing what do you do? You are missing something so it is ok to get it elsewhere right?
Well that is my question, when is it ok to cheat? We get into relationships to have our needs met so when they are not being met is it ok to step out? Of course every circumstance is different and waiting six weeks after giving birth is NOT grounds for cheating.
I would argue it is never ok to cheat. If the situation is bad enough for you to seek outside support, outside sex, or anything outside of the relationship you need to be outside of the relationship. If you are going to cheat, simply leave the relationship. It is selfish to cheat and destroy the lives of all involved. The point of being in a relationship is to work it out with that person. I think we live in a world where it is too easy to throw in the towel. No one wants to make it work anymore, and why should they when their next conquest is an inbox message away.
For those that say cheating is ok, when? Is it if your spouse cheats on you so you return the favor? What about if your needs are no longer being met, seriously what is the standard? In a relationship rarely if ever are you going to get a hundred percent of what you need. You have to be willing to make sacrifices and communicate so that both parties’ needs are met. Again I ask is it ever ok to cheat? Is there a secret hidden list of what is accepted and what is not acceptable for you cheat? Just saying when your needs are not met could very messy. Does this mean if I cook two days a week and not three you can cheat? If we have sex four times a week and not six are you cheating?
It is pretty evident that some people think cheating is ok because side chicks are running rampant, and they have no shame. What makes this behavior ok and when did being a side chick become a badge of honor?
Cheating is lazy. You do not want to deal with what is happening at home so you seek comfort elsewhere. You look for the easy fix because facing your spouse means facing yourself. Accepting that they are not meeting your needs because you are no longer meeting their needs.
Written by Toya Carter, M.Ed, Author of The Wife’s Guide to Beating the Side Chick. Be sure to follow her fan page at Mrs. Toya Carter.
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