WHAT ARE WE DATING FOR?
If marriage isn’t the goal? What is the sense in dating? Are you content with just being a boyfriend/girlfriend? We can play house together but won’t set the foundation for a lifetime together? What gives? I guess I am asking because I have never envisioned myself being married and someone asked me what is your goal when you date someone if marriage is not in your thoughts? This baffled me, but I am curious what the heck are we dating for?
Why are we dating without a purpose? It makes one believe that old fashioned courting is becoming instinct. There are no long-term goals anymore. The conquest of rushing to the bedroom and avoiding the altar. What are we afraid of? I know for me I fear commitment and longevity terrify me. The reason I have this fear is what if my mate becomes bored and more importantly I am nervous about promising God I would be bound to a man forever. Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It is a foundation set on hardwork, dedication, and commitment.
I have toyed with the idea of marriage. But never taken it seriously. We are afraid to love and let someone love us unconditionally. We love the idea of the wedding but shy away from the work a marriage entails.
We are so consumed with the end of a marriage, i.e., divorce we don’t take a serious try at staying together. We have to date with a purpose in mind. Maybe I am saying this because I am in my thirties and have grown tired of just being a girlfriend. I want to become more intentional with my dating practices.
Date intentionally. Set a dating goal for yourself when meeting a potential mate. Do you see a future with this person that involves the exchange of vows?
Work on becoming marriage worthy. Are you someone worth marrying? What do you bring to the table? Remember you have to be the change you want to see.
Friends first. Try building a friendship with a potential mate. Some of the best marriages are based on solid friendships.
Quit rushing to the bedroom. Hold off on hittng the sheets prematurely. Implement a solid period of abstinence.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, expecting different results. Try a new approach to dating and marriage can be a serious end goal.
Are these tips helpful? Did I miss any? Share your thoughts below.
Written by Neisha Kelly, COY Magazine, Editor-In-Chief
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