SHOULD YOU TEST DRIVE BEFORE BUYING?
So here is the deal. You think you have finally met your match. All things that matter are in sync….except you have not yet been intimate with your mate. Perhaps the timing has not been right or you want to maintain your virtue until marriage or reach a certain stage in your relationship. I get it! Rightfully so, you should wait until you are ready and comfortable to be physical, develop a trusting bond and know where you stand.
Now ask yourself this question. How important is sexual compatibility in your prospective relationship with your partner? Is bad sexual chemistry a deal breaker? Do you feel that good chemistry can eventually be obtained?
Before walking down the aisle or locking yourself down in a committed relationship, should you maintain your virtue or should you test drive before buying?
Do an introspective analysis of your sex life:
How has your past sexual chemistry been with other partner(s)?
Do you have a high or low libido? If so, would you want your mate to be in sync?
Are there certain activities that you go for or are off-limits in the bedroom?
Are you a pleaser or pleasure-seeker?
For the ladies…does size matter?
For the gents…are you affectionate and enjoy cuddling or prefer your lady to act like your favorite porn star?
For the gents…do you think your lady prefers security over intimacy, so no matter how you deliver, you take care of everything else and she will be satisfied?
Are you willing to be attuned to your partner’s needs?
Why you may be able to answer these questions yourself, ask your prospective partner those same questions you asked yourself and listen to his or her answers. How do your mate’s answers sync to yours? If you decide not to test drive before buying, make sure you do have an open dialogue about sex, that includes each other’s appetite and broad preferences. Not saying you should let all of your secret’s out of Pandora’s Box. But a healthy dialogue is imperative if you choose to wait.
You may personally feel that your “sexual relationship” will not be a deal-breaker to your budding relationship or your bond shared with your partner will eventually transfer to the bedroom. Kudos to you! However, an intimate relationship with your partner is not just “sex”. It is the spooning, cuddling, gazing, communication, understanding and being submissive to each other’s needs. Yes all of that falls under “intimacy”.
Many marriages and relationships end due to infidelity…which are because of lack of intimacy be it affection or the sexual act itself. The cause: lack of communication and/or understanding. The inability of you and your partner to express your needs and importance of fulfilling your needs and desires to your overall satisfaction in your relationship with one another.
Yes times get rough, and a healthy intimate relationship can become disrupted by life. Kids, career, health and stress can all ensue in your relationship. This is where communication comes in.
I am all for maintaining your virtue, and if you choose to test drive or not…still establish an open dialogue with your partner of their preferences, fantasies and necessities they seek in having an intimate relationship.
Your Thoughts? Should You Test Drive or Hold Out?
Written by Tahira Wright, blogger, architect and originator of the popular trending blog website www.happilydivorcedandafter.com. She discusses relationship issues, insights on trending news and celebrity insights, provides guidance and shares her reality-based tales of marriage, and her journey and evolution in becoming a happily divorcee. Her style is reality-based with a quirky and comic twist. Uprooted in California and seasoned in Washington D.C.’s dating scene, she is a New York City metropolitan transplant that has a zest for the city’s fruitful offerings. By day she is a finance professional graduating from the coveted HBCU Hampton University and has an MBA from American University. Her credo, “Let Life Flow” and “Carpe Diem” is how she approaches love, friendships and elevating new experiences.
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