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You say you are ready for love but are you truly ready to accept love into your life? I mean are you truly ready? Or are you allowing your views on love, relationships, and men to manifest red flags and toxic relationships into your life?

In 2015, and the years before the rhetoric towards black love was pretty much the same: all men cheat, men ain’t ish, black love is dead, black women aren’t wanted. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. If you hold any of these beliefs then don’t be surprised that you’ve entered 2016 single and lonely. Notice I did not say happily single. Happily single women don’t hold these beliefs about men or love. They aren’t single because all men want are flings. They are single because they choose to be single because they have other priorities at the time and being in a relationship needs to take the back seat.

The women who hold these beliefs are bitter, often for good reason. But that bitterness, no matter how righteous it may seem, will not attract love, a good relationship, or a good man to you. In fact, that bitterness does the opposite; it repels love, relationships and men. So, for the new year I challenge women who hold these beliefs to change their view on love, relationships, and men. Here are some suggestions to get you started.

1) Limit your time with bitter women
They say birds of a feather flock together. Or even better, watch the energy you are inviting into your space. If your closest girlfriends are all bitter and lonely then maybe it’s time for you to become close to some happy women. As you shift your circle from bitter to happy you will see how your energy changes and how what you attract and manifest becomes what your heart really desires.

2) Get some good guy friends
Every woman needs some good guy friends if for nothing more than to be a reminder that good guys do exist. You will appreciate how these men treat their girlfriends and wives and will be reminded of what you deserve and most of all, that what you desire is out there. Good men aren’t some unicorn in a fairytale land, they are everywhere. Many times women overlook them as non romantic interests and that is ok. Not every good man is going to be your man, but he can be a good friend.

3) Be a good woman
I’m sure you think you are a good woman, most of us do. But good to who? Are you only good to yourself, people you care about, and people who can do something for you? If so, you may not be as good of a woman as you think you are. While you should know your worth, understand that your value will be determined by those who interact with you on every level. If most of your interactions with others only adds value to your life then how good are you to others? Make 2016 the year that you do good for no other reason than being good. Karma will return the favor. Remember, you can’t reap good if you don’t sow good.

These three suggestions will get you started on the journey to manifest love, a good relationship, and a good man. Be intentional about changing your view on love and watch as your intentions manifest in this new year.
Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag and Amazon bestselling author of Flag On The Play. Ms. Reid is also a legally trained Conflict Mediator/Coach who specializes in family and domestic disputes. Ms. Reid writes an advice column, hosts events, facilitates workshops, and speaks nationwide on a variety of topics. For more information email

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