SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, MEN AREN’T MIND READERS
Men aren’t mind readers! Often, it is believed that men are clueless when it come to identifying the emotional state of the women they are involved with. The reality of it all is that we are not clueless, we just know better than to get involved with things we are not good at. We actually make it our business to not become engaged in emotional dialogue with women about issues. Why? Because men are fixers. That is what we are good at. Once we identify a problem, we think of ways to fix it, and then we commence to doing so. We are not good at talking about how problems make us feel. We don’t see how this type of conversation benefits anybody.
Women have a habit of wanting to talk about how a problem makes them feel. It gets to the point at times that we start to believe that women don’t want their problems solved. They just want to vent which culminates to bitching and complaining about it. Here’s an example.
Girlfriend: Baby, you can’t believe what just happened at work.
Boyfriend: What happened baby?
Girlfriend: This chick that you know I already don’t like had the nerve to wear the same dress that I did.
Boyfriend: Ok. Don’t wear the dress again.
Girlfriend: (Gets angry and goes in the next room)
Boyfriend: (Confused about why is she angry)
That women wanted us to respond like this instead
Boyfriend: Oh no, she didn’t. Well, I’m sure you wore it better. She’s a hater.
But guess what? We are not your girlfriends! We are your boyfriends. Those type of conversations need to be had with your girlfriends. Yes, we are here to provide emotional support, but our primary function is to solve problems. We like to be the hero to our damsel in distress. We don’t want to play the therapist to our girlfriend.
Also, when we ask you what is wrong, it is in your best interest to tell us. No, we are not oblivious or dumb. We can tell when something is wrong with you. You make your mood changes obvious. Once we ask you, do not tell us that nothing is wrong and then continue to be upset at us. It’s fine if you tell us “I don’t want to talk about it.” Even if it doesn’t involve us, let us know that something is bothering you. But don’t get mad at us if you tell us nothing is wrong and we don’t press the issue.
Some of you ladies think we are mind readers. Of course, we know something is wrong. But if you tell us it isn’t, we will leave it alone. This is how man logic works. We take your word for it. We figure when you’re ready to talk about it, you will. But getting mad at us for it makes you look emotionally unstable. It also displays that you are an ineffective communicator of your issues and feelings. If you do this often enough, your man will start to ignore you. So be honest for a change. And keep in mind that when you tell us your problems, our first reaction will always be to solve them. And that’s simply because we want you to be problem free.
Written by, Bryant A. Buntin, author of Dear Women I Haven’t Slept With.
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