Marry You? What’s in it for Me?

Happy Newlyweds in Front of Mansion
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If you’re a fan of the Code Red Flag Facebook page you may know that recently I created a group page allowing members to send in questions that they don’t need to be anonymous. Yesterday, one in particular stood out. Check it out below:

This question is mostly for the men: Gentlemen, is marriage beneficial for you? If so what are the benefits you find in marriage? I ask because several men frown upon marriage (including married men) they claim it’s mostly beneficial for the woman. Ladies chime in please.

A few men thought that marriage was a good idea, in fact, one came to the realization that the responsibility of marriage would help him grow into a man by “settling him down.” Another reminded us that marriage as an institution is beneficial to the community because it is beneficial for child rearing.

Of course there were also a few dissenters that did not feel that marriage was in anyway beneficial for them. Some replied that marriage only benefits a woman because it takes away a man’s freedom. One unmarried male commenter wrote, “a man’s perspective is that he is settling down…giving up a bachelor lifestyle with different women…the freedom to come and go as he pleases with little responsibility.”

So who is right? Who is wrong? Is there a right or wrong? Does marriage benefit both men and women equally? After all, women give up some freedom in a marriage as well right? I’m sure my future husband wouldn’t be okay with me going on weekly dates with single men. And the responsibility of taking care of a husband is not an easy task from what I’ve seen and heard.

My thoughts on the question is that we don’t, or at least we shouldn’t, be going into any relationship much less a marriage thinking “What’s in it for me?” Relationships are about team work and combined effort. The thought process should change from me to us. If all you are thinking is how can I benefit you might as well stay a bachelor or a bachelorette.
Written by Dena Reid, Esq. Founder of Code Red Flag and Best Selling Author of Flag On the Play: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right in A World Full of Mr. Right Nows. Follow Code Red Flag on Twitter and Instagram.

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