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It’s happened. You and your significant other have had a big fight equipped with tears, yelling, maybe even a little cursing. Emotions ran high and you said or even did somethings you wish you could take back. Of course you can’t turn back the hands of time, but you can still move forward.

First, put your ego to the side and apologize. Whether you say it right then, wait for cooler heads to prevail, or leave an apology note to be found later, just do it! There can be no apology if you never say the words, “I’m sorry.”

Second, it doesn’t matter who or what started the argument. Apologize for the part you played in the conflict. Apologize whole heartedly, not half assedly. In other words, focus on your actions, not what your mate did that you feel caused your irrational response. Don’t just say you’re sorry, point out what you’re sorry for–make a pointed statement of remorse verses a blanket apology.

Third, ask them to give you a chance to make things better. At this point they may say you don’t have to but insist. Like love, sorry is an action words and just saying it isn’t enough. You will need to show and prove. If you’re lucky your mate will tell you exactly how to make it up to them, if not, it’s time to get creative. What’s his/her love language? If it’s Acts of Service it may be time to perform a service you wouldn’t regularly perform. Whatever needs to be done, if you care about the health of your relationship follow through with action.

Remember, there are three parts to any good apology,
1) the verbal apology,
2) the ownership of your responsibility, and
3) the apologetic actions/show of remorse

How do you make up with your significant other after a bad argument?
Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag and Amazon bestselling author of Flag On The Play. Ms. Reid is also a legally trained Conflict Mediator/Coach who specializes in family and domestic disputes. Ms. Reid writes an advice column, hosts events, facilitates workshops, and speaks nationwide on a variety of topics. For more information email info@coderedflag.com.

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