If you’ve read my book “Flag On the Play (available for purchase here) then you know that “separated means married” and to stay away from separated men. But what about divorced men? They may be single, but that doesn’t mean that they are available; emotionally or other wise.

Our friends at Digital Romance have compiled a list of red flags to watch for when dating divorced men.

Red Flag #1: He Complains about His Ex

Anyone can need to vent from time to time. But when a man complains frequently about his ex and talks about numerous problems, this is an issue. He may not be recovered from the divorce. He may not be emotionally available. He may be embroiled in a custody battle or other lagging divorce issue. Any of these situations make having a healthy, happy relationship very difficult. He’s a man to avoid until he is healed.

Red Flag #2: He Needs Your Help to Get Over His Ex

Right away, this man talks about his ex and seems needy. He bends your ear and is so grateful because you’re such a supportive listener. Women often fall into this trap, believing they can help a man get over his ex and get ready for love. You might help him, but you’ll be his transitional women. When he feels better, he’ll move on to find love with someone else. It happens all the time. Avoid being a divorced man’s therapist if you are serious about finding lasting love. This guy is not ready.

Red Flag #3: He Doesn’t See You on the Weekend

You meet a guy who seems nice and maybe your first and second dates were on the weekend. After that, somehow his weekends just aren’t free. There is always something he has to do or plans he made way in advance that keep you from getting together. This can indicate many things such as he has a girlfriend (or a wife if not really divorced) or he’s on the prowl for other women on weekends. Whatever the reason, when a man doesn’t want to see you on the weekend, you are not his romantic priority.

Red Flag #4: He Calls or Texts, But Doesn’t Ask You Out

You meet a guy who seems interested. You have one or two dates. He stays in touch by calling and texting you, sometimes several times a day. But he doesn’t ask you out again. He has reasons, but don’t believe them. Virtual communication does not replace seeing you face-to-face. If he stops asking you out, move on because he’s not being honest with you. He may feel good texting you and a bunch of other women or he may genuinely enjoy talking to you. But he needs to date you in person to build a real relationship. If this happens, move on.

Red Flag #5: He’s Inconsistent with Communication or Dates

You meet a guy and have a great first date. A few weeks go by before you hear from him again. He asks you out a couple of times close together and you are thrilled. Then another big gap occurs. This man doesn’t consistently spend time getting to know you, which likely indicates he’s not looking for a serious relationship. He might say he’s busy at work, cancels often or has his kids again. The truth is, he might like his freedom or just isn’t ready for more. If you feel his interest is sporadic, he doesn’t have the same desire for long-term love as you do.

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