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Are you dating for a purpose or for entertainment purposes only?

Dating for a purpose means you have clear goals, you know what you want, what you’re willing to accept, and what you’re willing to compromise on. You’re thinking long term while getting to know your person of interest in the short term. During that time, you’ll figure out through your interactions if the two of you share similar goals, work and play well together.

Dating for a purpose often happens in our late 20s and on. We’ve played the field. We’ve learned the game, as well as any person possibly can since the rules to the game are ever changing. Now we are, or at least should be, more mature.

We no longer want to be in the club with our friends every weekend, we’d rather save that money and travel internationally, use it to pay off our student loans, or save it and purchase a home. We no longer want fruitless, substanceless relations that don’t add to our spirit. Once you start dating for a purpose, entertainment just isn’t enough.

See, when one is dating for entertainment purposes only they are looking to have a good time above all else. That could mean a good time with Sam/Samantha, then Daniel/Danielle, then Michael/Michelle, but we rarely, if ever take these dates seriously. All we want is fun. Sam/Samantha can’t make it tonight, ok Daniel/Danielle is next on speed dial. There are no emotions involved, no feelings. The only thing we care about are our selfish needs for instant gratification.

Sooner or later, sooner for some, later for others, we come to realize that dating for entertainment purposes only is unfulfilling. If we are lucky, we come out of this stage of life unscathed; i.e. no baby momma/daddy drama, trust issues, and the like. Then we begin to focus on legacy building. And that’s when we have to take our dating lives more seriously.

Each stage of dating, whether it’s for entertainment purposes only, has its time and its own set of benefits. Just be careful of how much time you spend dating immaturely. It’s never a good look to be the old man or woman in the club trying to get your mack on.

What stage of dating are you in right now? How do you know when you’re ready for a more mature method of dating?

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Written by Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag and author of Flag On The Play: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right in a World Full of Mr. Right Nows.