Check Your Bait

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Time after time, I’ve heard men complain about women using them for material gain. It’s a large fear. In fact, as I survey men for book research I am overwhelmed by the amount of them who list fear that a woman will take everything they work for in a divorce as the primary reason they shy away from marriage.

How realistic is that fear? Very! It takes one glance at a gossip magazine or a quick click to TMZ to read or see stories of men who are losing millions of dollars in a divorce or paying an a king’s ransom in child support. Those stories are sensationalized due to the celebrity status of the people involved but it likely happens to the everyday Joe just as often.

The paradox of this situation is that while men complain about gold diggers many continue to use material items as bait to catch a woman. Before you disagree with me let me explain.

I’ve seen men driving luxury cars with $600 a month car payments but still live in an apartment. Not own an apartment, live in an apartment. While a materialistic woman would look at a guy like this as someone who they could have fun with and possibly get him to buy her a few pair of Jimmy Choos, a woman of substance would wonder about his priorities.

Another such example would be the man who begins to offer expensive gifts and vacations even before the first date. She doesn’t know who you are or what you’re about, all she knows is that your willing to spend money on her. That is what attracts gold diggers- men who are willing to spend money frivolously.

With a woman of substance a man has to try harder. His materialistic items won’t mean much to her. See, she looks at them like accessories, much like the pearls in her ears, nothing more. A fancy car, fancy house, and flashing cash won’t impress her. In fact, you’re more likely to turn her off with those behaviors.

Men who continue to attract gold diggers and who are ready for a woman of substance need to change their bait. Instead of the flashy car, blind her with the light of your energy. Let her see there is more to you than what’s seen on the surface. Share with her your dreams, fears, and life goals. Then you can upgrade from a gold digger to a GOAL DIGGER.

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What are some ways a man can discern whether a woman wants him for who he is rather than what he has?
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Written by Dena Reid, Esq. Founder of Code Red Flag

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