One discussion I would like to have is about baggage. Personally, I feel people use that word to easily and also not look at the bigger picture. Some may agree or disagree but that’s the reason for discussion.
I am a 38 year old woman and since I was in my teens I have heard people speak on “baggage.” Baggage can range from someone having children from a previous relationship, who the person previously dated, to mistakes that could have been made in the past, etc.

Things I want to point out:
1. EVERYONE has it! But many do not admit to it;
2. Some people fail to recognize that people can start to accumulate so called baggage from childhood not just from intimate relationships;
3. Stop acting as thou what you have is so much better than the next;
4. There is a difference between getting to know someone and settling;
5. Just because one person went through a situation does NOT mean you will! Everyone is different; and
6. Don’t be quick to judge if you are not ready to pull up all your mess.

Back to when I said childhood. Everyone does not have to be born in a horrible household. Sometimes people will create emotions that are attached to a situation of disappointment or even a good situation and are looking for that same satisfaction. Even if someone has went through problems in their home don’t allow that to be an automatic fail until you get to know them. Many will never change or get rid of their “Baggage” they just find someone that will tolerate them because EVERYONE has an issue regardless of the category. I feel that because so many use this term loosely, it causes people to focus only on certain avenues which may have nothing to do with what brought that attitude or “issue” on in the first place.

***PLEASE NOTE…*** No one should tolerate more than they can handle or be mistreated…I say this because that is the first place some will go when reading this… but I do believe and will say because we have created all these walls, we tend to create artificial expectations. Before my grandmother passed away my grandfather would say they had problems but they got thru it, and they didn’t just leave one another because of their past or a problem. My grandfather was something else before my grandmother. BUT, truth be told, my grandmother also had a checkered past… Before my grandmother passed they were married for 60 years.

So many people are so busy pointing out the wrongs they don’t want to be open-minded. But these same people are following everyone else’s ideal mate or generic post, fake words of encouragement, stereotypes, artificial fantasy, or what their so called friends think and don’t discover it’s all BS until they see all these SAME people find their mate and all of a sudden that term baggage goes open to “we are only human.”
There is no perfect person but there is a perfect person for you. Too many put these expectations out there instead of getting to know someone. Don’t look for a mate with a perfect resume when you know that there is no perfection in yourselves. And just because you think someone fits this box they may have baggage they are not letting you see…Pushing people out because of so called baggage or false expectations is the wrong way to view people or find the one for you.

By Anonymous Contributor