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Ladies / Fellas have a cup of tea with me~

8.8 years is the average length of an American marriage.

Who are you? Are you who you were told to be, or who you were destined to become?
By being blatantly honest about who you’re, allows others to be blatantly honest about who they are.

Stipulations, boundaries, rules, consequences, cheating, lies, alibis, pain, joy, togetherness, break ups, and make-are all entities that one thinks of when they think of a committed intimate relationship. What does one think of when they think of a friendship? Do friends cheat on each other? Friendships do break up, but this occurrence is much less frequent than that of an intimate relationship. People!!!! We have evolved…. has your thinking about relationships evolved as well?

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there……

Friends are friends even when they do separate vacations, spend the night somewhere other than where their friend is. Do not speak to their friend, have a child with someone other than their friend. No matter what you do outside of your friendship, you’re still friends. Friendship is the only relationship NOT bound by contract, but entered into freely. Parent~Child, husband~wife, employer~employee, business~partner, and the list goes on; are all bound by contract.

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there……

Marriage certificates are for tax and financial purposes; it does not keep two people together.
People get cold feet before getting married in fear of not being able to live up the expectations set before one in marriage. The fear of things changing as they know them to be. Fear of not being able to go to or hang out with people or places they could prior to marriage. Who thinks about any of these things when entering into friendship?

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there……

Friendship doesn’t set stipulations as to where you can go, who you can see, what time you have to be home.
Friends share their likes and dislikes and respect that of each other to maintain their friendship. Friendship doesn’t set the guidelines; the friends set their
own guidelines of the friendship.

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there……

Friends openly share who they are, what they want and like without the fear of judgment or rejection. When dating, the average person shares what they think they should say as opposed to what they want to say. People have a tendency to be more honest with their mister or mistress than their spouse. Why, because the relationship of mister and mistress is also a relationship that is not bound by contract, but entered into freely.

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there……

So I said all that to say, when looking to find your soul-mate, (better described as your other half) one needs to realize you’re not looking for a man, a woman, a husband, a wife, a committed person. You’re looking for your truest FRIEND ( no lies or alibis). You can say things to this person; like….I have cheated in my past relationship(s) and I do not want to cheat in this relationship. Could you forgive me if I did?

I am bisexual; I sometimes use illegal substances; I want to be in an open relationship; I want to be in an open relationship where the person I am with is committed to only being with me, but not just me with them. I want to be in a relationship where I do not contribute to anything financially.

Yea you laugh, but how many of us have friends who are doing this stuff behind their significant others back, and we know as the friend, but they would never confess this to their significant other?

A chair is still a chair, even when there is no one sitting there……

Remove your ego, forget what you were told a relationship is supposed to be, and ask yourself what is the ideal relationship to YOU?
When you decide what that is, your soul mate is the person who wants to be in the same scenario and is comfortable being honest with you upon meeting about what it is they are looking for.

Ladies stop lying about how many men you slept with, fella’s stop lying about how many women you didn’t sleep with. Fella’s stop lying about being able to be faithful, some of you know when you say it, you’re lying. Your soul mate WILL accept you and love you for who you’re, with no changes. (Just the agreed guidelines)

Some of you have marriages, engagements, commitments with no foundation. Titles with no substance, this is why divorce is allowed to take place. Real friends are irreplaceable; this is why friendship last. Remove the friend, you still have a friendship. Remove the certificate and you have a divorce.

“Before two can walk together, they must first agree” (key word “THEY”)

A chair is still a chair,……………..EVEN when there is no one sitting there……
Written by Sadie Sharp, Relationship Coach Guest Blogger for Code Red Flag

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