30 PLUS WITH NO KIDS: Red Flag or Unicorn?
Facebook has proven to be the Walmart of cyber life. It’s your virtual one-stop-shop for news, current events, trends, conspiracy theories, celebrity gossip, and intellectual stimulation. There’s nothing like engaging in a great debate about whether or not your favorite reality star’s backside is au naturel or filled with an inner tube and some fix-a-flat. Certain things have to be discussed and debated, such as the tragedy in Ferguson, MO and the Ebola “crisis”. Still, it’s hard to find a topic that gets passions and tempers flaring more than “If a woman is thirty or older with no kids, is there something wrong with her?” I actually saw this question posed as someone’s status on Facebook the other day and it sparked World War III between the sexes.
Now that being a “baby mama” or “baby daddy” has become commonplace, it seems peculiar to some that a woman who has reached and surpassed the grown, sexy, and mature age of thirty doesn’t have any offspring. Certainly, never having been married is of no shock, but, the fact that she doesn’t have a child out of wedlock or out of lust is simply baffling to a lot of men. Granted, there are some women over thirty who are crazy as hell; however, the idea that there is something wrong with all women over thirty with no children is simply ridiculous. I can think of a million reasons why a woman is single, successful, sane, and childless at thirty plus years of age. In fact, here are just a few:
She is not into uncommitted or unprotected sex. Having a “friends with benefits” situation is not appealing to this woman. If there has been no commitment declared, then there will be no sex. Also, once she is in a committed relationship, the condom isn’t coming off until the ring goes on—the engagement ring, that is.
She is focused on God, her career, and herself. There are times when you simply need to cleanse your palate, seek God, and increase your net worth without a man distracting you. Some single women get this concept while others don’t.
She noticed red flags early on in past relationships and got the hell on. Every woman is not into dating men who are unfaithful, disrespectful, and detrimental to their overall well-being. The sooner you figure out that a man is not right for you and decide to move forward, the better off you will be. Many lives were created as a result of lingering in bad situations or relationships for too long.
She understands the true depth and responsibility of bringing a child into this world. Having a baby by any Tommy, Dion or Harrison is not appealing to this woman. Casual sex with men who she would never want to procreate with is not happening. She is responsible and able to think beyond the moment and the man.
She wants to be married first. The idea of being another statistic in the baby-mama epidemic is extremely unattractive to this woman. She has traditional values and believes that her future children deserve to be created within the sanctity of marriage.
By society’s standards and on paper, being thirty plus with no kids screams “red flag”. However, more often than not, if you cross this rare breed, she is indeed a unicorn in your midst.
Written by Carmen Chloé. Follow her on Twitter @YesSheWrites/Instagram @carmenchloeharris
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